Mamas Lap

When was the last time you held your child? I’m not talking about when they were sick, or the quick hug just before going to bed. I’m talking about just for the reason that they belong to you?

This is something that I often do. My children are not babies anymore. I have a daughter who is fourteen, and two sons, aged ten and twelve. A couple of mornings ago, as I sat sipping on my morning coffee, my youngest woke up. He came into the living room, still sleepy eyed, and crawled into my lap. He weighs around ninety pounds, and he has to fold up his legs in order to sit in my lap now. As he lay his head upon my shoulder, he looked up at me and said “ Mornin’, mama”. I could still feel the warmth from his blankets, and smell his hair that still smells like the baby I had rocked ten years ago. Where does the time go?

As I sat in the morning light, holding my baby that isn’t a baby any longer, I wondered. Why do parents not hold their babies any more? From the time they are born, babies are in car seats, carriers and strollers. By the time they outgrow the carriers, they are walking. Suddenly, we seem to busy to hold them, and they are to busy to be held. When we do find the time, they are called too big to be held. Who says they are to big?

I still hold my children. All of them. It seems to let them know that even though they are growing up, even though they will someday soon be on their own, that the comforts of mama’s lap will always be there. In this world of ours, don’t you think all children need that sort of comfort sometimes?

When my daughter sits in my lap, not only does she receive the comfort and reassurance she needs, but it keeps the lines of our communication open. We talk about her hopes, dreams, problems, fears, accomplishments, and sometimes the male species. She is at an age that is sometimes little girl, and sometimes, grown woman. If the one in my lap is one of the boys, we may talk about school, sports, hopes, and sometimes, if daddy is nowhere around, girls. I hope my children and I are always this close, and that they always trust their mother.

Many times, I have been standing at the stove or at the clothesline, when one of my children would come up, give me a quick hug and “love ya, mama”, for no reason. My oldest son is in middle school and is still not embarrassed to be seen with me. He’ll even give me a hug when being dropped off or when I have visited his school. Did my holding them have anything to do with this? I don’t know, but it sure didn’t hurt!

I feel I am lucky to have this type of relationship with my children. If I can keep that relationship strong by them sitting in my lap, giving them hugs, and telling them I love them, I will continue to do so.

So far I haven’t found a better way to spend a morning than with one or all of my children in my lap, discussing all sorts of things. Can you say the same? It doesn’t matter how old a person gets, there is no better place on earth than ... mama’s lap.

Since the writing of this piece, my children have grown. My daughter is now 23 and my sons are now 21 and 19. The funny thing is, they all will still sit in my lap! Even though my oldest son is about 3-4 inches taller than me, even though the youngest son can pick me up and walk across the floor with me, even though my daughter is out on her own and doing fine. Even though they are all grown adults, they still sit in mama's lap.